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Are You Able To Say No When You Want To?

So many of us feel the need to say “Yes” to a request due to guilt or obligation? But what we may not realize is that by saying “Yes” when we really want to say “No” can cause us feelings of stress.  And if we continue to say “Yes” then we are continuously increasing our level of stress.

What is your belief system that has you saying “Yes” when you want to say “No”?

  • a need to please
  • afraid the person will be upset if you say “No”
  • peer pressure: don’t feel you can say “No” to your boss, partner or spouse
  • you are a high energy person who feels you can do everything
  • you automatically say “Yes” out of kindness, without thinking

Whatever your reason for not saying “No”, why not try the following suggestion:

Promise yourself that you will not say “Yes” immediately to any request, even if you know you are able to.

Once you create the habit of not saying “Yes” in the moment, you are giving yourself the time to formulate a kind means to decline the request, if you wish.

Are you still not sure you can do this? Try thinking of it this way: by saying “Yes” to someone else’s request, you are actually saying “No” to your own wants and needs.

So what do you say when someone asks something of you? Kindly inform the person that you will get back to them later as you need to check and review your schedule. Yes, it’s that simple.

If they pressure you to check your schedule immediately, gently inform them that you want to be sure you have taken into account all other projects or meetings you have on the go, before you commit to another one, and that you will get back to them. Stick to your guns! Do not let someone else’s emergency become yours. You are simply giving yourself the time required to determine if the task or project will be something you have the time to do, or even want to do, and without overloading your own schedule. This is where you want to pay attention to your inner guidance system, your emotional energy.

You may experience the benefits in the following way(s):

1) Increased confidence

2) Reduction in your workload (home or work)

3) Control of your own schedule and life

4) Reduction in levels of stress


You cannot bring what you want to you if you are feeling stress. Stress or any tension at all is something you have to remove from your system.” Rhonda Byrnes ~  The Secret… joy for billions

Posted in Self-Awareness, Self-Management Tagged with: , ,


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